what next?

our usual sleeping arrangement is this---FI falls asleep pretty fast and early (around 9pm) and i usually fall asleep on the couch around 1 or2 and get up and go to bed when he leaves for work around 530am. well, it's not working. i really don't like the fact that i can't sleep (and i do mean just sleep) with my fiance. there are two reasons for this. one, he snores like a freight train. like the loudest freight train you have ever heard. two, i am a chronic insomniac and have a lot of trouble falling asleep on my own, even without listening to him snore. for some reason my internal clock just isn't set right. i don't feel sleepy when i should, at night. i feel sleepy at 4 or 5 in the morning and want to sleep till noon, but unfortunately i don't have a job where i can work at night. i've had these issues since i was a teenager, so more than 10 years. i've tried many sleep aids, over the counter and prescription. currently i am taking lunesta, which presents me with my latest problem. the last 2 times i've taken it it hasn't worked like it should. over the past year of taking this pill i have learned that, for it to work best, you should take it on an emtpy stomach because fatty foods slow down the process of digesting the pill in your system. and you should take it about 30-45 minutes before you go to bed. it does make you drowsy, in my case i feel kinda drunk (in a good way). but, you don't feel the hangover-type grogginess the next day. so anyway the last 2 times it hasn't worked, meaning i haven't felt sleepy even after taking it. this worries me greatly. i've tried other sleeping pills. i've tried mild forms of anti-anxiety pills for insomnia. if lunesta isn't working....then what do i do now?? if i can't get my sleep issues worked out now, then how am i ever going to sleep after i have a baby someday? that is the number one thing people complain about after having a baby....sleep deprivation. well, geez, i'm already there. this sucks. i need help!

been down n out

lately i've been feeling a lot of ups and downs as far as emotions go. one minute i'll be sittin there enjoying watchin tv with jason, the next minute i don't want to even be around him and i'm not satisfied doing anything i normally like doing. seems like every few years i go through this....depression. how do you explain to someone who's never felt like this that sometimes i feel sad for no reason? that sometimes i feel like crying just because. that even though it seems like all the pieces of my life are falling into place, i can't shake this feeling that it's not good enough. i totally sound pathetic. thing is, i don't know how to fix this. i can figure out how to fix my money problems, or how to take care of myself when i'm sick or how to fix my truck when it's broke down. but i can't fix this. i should be so happy right now, planning my wedding to the man i love. for whatever reason, i'm not.