I had an interview last week with a preschool, and luckily they are building a brand new one 10 minutes away from me. It was technically a first interview, they do 2 interviews in their 'process'. I should get a call in the next few days about the 2nd interview. Their new building opens in March, so I'm hoping that if I do get hired then I would be working there, as opposed to where I had the interview (35 minutes away). Anyway, the place seems real nice, organized, friendly. We'll see how that turns out.
Then tonight I got an email for a phone interview from another company. I emailed her my resume and said yes I will be available Monday at 9am! Whew. And this is actually a company whose overflow of kids for their daycare used to go to the daycare I previously worked at for 5 years. Make sense? Anyway, point being I am familiar with them. So, things are looking up.
My prayers are the same time and time again...if I can just get a job, financially we'll be fine. If I can just get pregnant, I'll have everything I ever wanted out of life....to be a mother. Yes, I do believe in God. And I do believe he hears my prayers.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
I'm lost
Lately, the world seems to be crashing down in bits and pieces all around me. I still don't have a job. We owe the IRS money instead of getting a refund. We're still not pregnant. And slowly I just seem to be going into a downward spiral emotionally. :(
It's not that I don't want to be positive that things will work out, because I think deep down I know they will eventually. I just seem to be living too much in the moment, which stinks, so it makes me unmotivated to do anything at all. I don't feel like cleaning, or doing laundry, or taking the dog for a walk. I don't feel like talking, because it would just sound like a big complaint. Yeah I know how it sounds. I already heard that from my DH. He doesn't understand, therefore he thinks it's something I can just snap out of. So I don't talk to him about it. I just pretend I'm fine and he thinks I am and we're both happy. Well, okay, not me.
Even now, I can't even think of words to describe how I feel. It's like I'm of no worth to anyone, not even myself, so why bother. I really hope a decent job comes along real soon so I can feel like I make a difference again. To the kids, to their parents, to my husband, to myself. I just wanna feel like me again.
It's not that I don't want to be positive that things will work out, because I think deep down I know they will eventually. I just seem to be living too much in the moment, which stinks, so it makes me unmotivated to do anything at all. I don't feel like cleaning, or doing laundry, or taking the dog for a walk. I don't feel like talking, because it would just sound like a big complaint. Yeah I know how it sounds. I already heard that from my DH. He doesn't understand, therefore he thinks it's something I can just snap out of. So I don't talk to him about it. I just pretend I'm fine and he thinks I am and we're both happy. Well, okay, not me.
Even now, I can't even think of words to describe how I feel. It's like I'm of no worth to anyone, not even myself, so why bother. I really hope a decent job comes along real soon so I can feel like I make a difference again. To the kids, to their parents, to my husband, to myself. I just wanna feel like me again.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
25 Random Things
I do not have Facebook, but have noticed this one going around blogs too. So I thought I'd steal it. Cause I'm bored and need something to pass the time. :)
1. I love the color black.
2. I despise pink.
3. I know people say this a lot, but my husband truly is my best friend. I can't imagine going through life without him.
4. I don't ever want to own a car again. Only trucks if I can help it.
5. I have really small feet and hands. Depending on the shoe, I can wear anything from a 4 to a 5 and 1/2. And those stretchy, one-size-fits-all gloves are a little big for me.
6. I love finding frames I didn't remember I had and even more finding pictures to go in them.
7. When I was young I had a terrible premonition I wouldn't live past 18.
8. I thought I'd be the one to end my life before 18.
9. I want to have a child so badly it physically hurts.
10. I hardly ever wear sandals that show a lot of my feet cause I don't like to look at bare feet, even my own.
11. I am miserable without a job. Partially because we do need more income than what DH brings home, but partially cause I don't know what to do with myself all day at home.
12. I don't wear makeup on a daily basis.
13. After a long day of cleaning house I feel a great sense of relief and accomplishment. I like things to be clean.
14. Some days I wish my DH would shave his goatee just so I could see what he would look like completely clean shaven.
15. Pajama pants are my absolute favorite thing to wear.
16. The only jewelry I wear on a daily basis is my wedding ring.
17. When I was younger, I imagined myself having 6 or 7 kids, but now I think I'd be perfectly content with just one.
18. I love instrumental music--classical, jazz, piano, love it. It's very soothing and relaxing to me.
19. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my grandma that passed away 10 years ago. Not a single day.
20. Lately (probably since my wedding) I've been fascinated with photography and would looooove to have a really nice camera to take pictures with.
21. I am a night owl to the core. Have been since I was a child, always will be.
22. Someday I would really like to have a breast reduction.
23. Though it may sound a bit silly, blogging acts as a form of therapy for me. I think it's the fact that I'm talking (or writing) to no one in particular that appeals to me. Like writing in a diary did when I was a kid.
24. Actual therapy did absolutely nothing for me. Not helpful whatsoever.
25. I consider myself blessed to have the few very good friends I have, because I think my standards are a little high. But I'm not sure I really care that they are. At least then I know who my friends really are.
1. I love the color black.
2. I despise pink.
3. I know people say this a lot, but my husband truly is my best friend. I can't imagine going through life without him.
4. I don't ever want to own a car again. Only trucks if I can help it.
5. I have really small feet and hands. Depending on the shoe, I can wear anything from a 4 to a 5 and 1/2. And those stretchy, one-size-fits-all gloves are a little big for me.
6. I love finding frames I didn't remember I had and even more finding pictures to go in them.
7. When I was young I had a terrible premonition I wouldn't live past 18.
8. I thought I'd be the one to end my life before 18.
9. I want to have a child so badly it physically hurts.
10. I hardly ever wear sandals that show a lot of my feet cause I don't like to look at bare feet, even my own.
11. I am miserable without a job. Partially because we do need more income than what DH brings home, but partially cause I don't know what to do with myself all day at home.
12. I don't wear makeup on a daily basis.
13. After a long day of cleaning house I feel a great sense of relief and accomplishment. I like things to be clean.
14. Some days I wish my DH would shave his goatee just so I could see what he would look like completely clean shaven.
15. Pajama pants are my absolute favorite thing to wear.
16. The only jewelry I wear on a daily basis is my wedding ring.
17. When I was younger, I imagined myself having 6 or 7 kids, but now I think I'd be perfectly content with just one.
18. I love instrumental music--classical, jazz, piano, love it. It's very soothing and relaxing to me.
19. Not a day goes by that I don't think of my grandma that passed away 10 years ago. Not a single day.
20. Lately (probably since my wedding) I've been fascinated with photography and would looooove to have a really nice camera to take pictures with.
21. I am a night owl to the core. Have been since I was a child, always will be.
22. Someday I would really like to have a breast reduction.
23. Though it may sound a bit silly, blogging acts as a form of therapy for me. I think it's the fact that I'm talking (or writing) to no one in particular that appeals to me. Like writing in a diary did when I was a kid.
24. Actual therapy did absolutely nothing for me. Not helpful whatsoever.
25. I consider myself blessed to have the few very good friends I have, because I think my standards are a little high. But I'm not sure I really care that they are. At least then I know who my friends really are.
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