Nothing New

Still no job, still not pregnant. I'm thinking it would be a better idea to get a job first though. Hm.

Ten years ago today my world came to a screeching halt. Ten years ago today my grandma died.

It wasn't just like that though. Two days earlier she had slipped into a coma and the whole family, including me, rushed to the hospital to be with her. That same night,while we were all still there at the hospital, my dad was getting ready to go to work when he got a call saying that his dad was being rushed to another hospital. Before he could even get there my grandpa had passed away. He came back to the hospital we were at looking sadder than I had ever seen him in my life. Grandma (my mom's mom) was sitting here dying of lung cancer, so we were a little more prepared. Although I'm not sure you can ever be prepared to lose a loved one. And to find out that Grandpa had died so quickly and unexpectedly...I was at a loss for comprehension.

Two days later, at around 2:30 in the morning, my grandma stopped breathing. A bunch of us were at her bedside and watched her take her last breath. It was haunting, but then again I was grateful to have some sort of closure, whereas with Grandpa there was none.

I got through the rest of the week in a haze, not even knowing what day of the week it was. March the 13th brought Grandpa's visitation and funeral, where I saw my cousin M cry. That was the hardest thing to watch. He was 21 years old, in the military, Grandpa's favorite fishing buddy. It tore me up.

March the 15th brought Grandma's funeral. There were a lot of people there, many I did not know, many I don't remember seeing. When it was my turn to walk by the casket all the stress and grief caught up with me and I collapsed. Thank God someone was standing behind me or else I would have hit the floor hard. That's not how I wanted to remember one of the most important people in my life. Not laying in a casket.

My job wasn't very forgiving. I think my boss thought I was lying to him just to get out of work. Fortunately my roommate, who also worked there, told him everything and he was a little more understanding. But still, no one knew what I was going through cause no one had lost 2 grandparents in the same week. Not like that.

So no there's nothing new in my life. Just some 10 year old memories that have been on my mind all day long. I miss you Grandma...I miss you too Grandpa.