Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?

I think so Brain. But if we gave peas a chance, won't the lima beans feel left out?

Anyone who knows about good cartoons, knows that is from Pinky and the Brain. One of my favorites. :) It just makes me laugh. I love to watch anything that will make me laugh.

Some days laughter seems very rare. Those, to me, are the worst days. I mean, how boring and listless would the day be if we didn't laugh? Or even smile, for that matter. I think it's important to find something in every day that makes you smile.

Today, playing with Charlie made me smile. Spending the afternoon talking with DH about nothing made me smile. And listening to him trying to cajole me into bed with him made me laugh. LOL I just can't help but love him. More every day. :)

Sometimes the seriousness of life hits me pretty hard, like a smack in the face. For instance, paying bills is a big smack. I wrote out a few thousand dollars worth of bills in the last few days, ick. But, we still came out in the black, so I must be doing something right. It's because of all this serious stuff in life that makes me realize how much I love to laugh. And very honestly, I would not be alive if I couldn't laugh at something. It's like stress relief...laughter and music. When nothing else works I either turn up the tunes or turn on Comedy Central. Works every time.

The moral of the story is this....

Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?
I think so Brain...but if they called them sad meals the kids wouldn't buy them would they?

Well she came and went in 2 days

That's Mother Nature for ya!

Two freaking days. Umm...that's the shortest one I've EVER had. Even on the pill. Weird.

So now I can really start charting to see if my cycles are regular (that one was 32 days). Come to find out 32 days is actually somewhat normal. Who knew? Not me, not after being on a 28 day cycle for the last 14 years. LOL So much to learn about this whole baby-making business, so little time.

Some things I think I can expect when a baby does come along someday...

...Charlie (the dog) will probably respond much better to a baby than to a puppy. He likes people, dogs not so much.

...DH will spoil a baby rotten! Lately he's been spoiling my nephew by buying him little toys here and there when he sees them at work. Yeah..I think his mom and dad are getting a little overwhelmed with monster trucks...LOL

...I HOPE to expect that Nana and Papa will love and spoil my kid as much as the first grandbaby. :)

...I KNOW to expect that Grandma A and Grandpa A will spoil my kid as it will be their only blood grandchild.

...My kid's Auntie K and Uncle B will be very excited for their kid to have a playmate. :)

I can't even begin to express how much I so want to be a mother. It's been the only constant thing I've ever wanted to be since I was a little kid. I never wanted to be a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher....I wanted to be a wife and a mother. Got the wife part down. Now it's time to fulfill the second part of that dream.

Mother Nature? What??

I'm a little peeved with Mother Nature at the moment. Certain things that happen to a woman every 28 days or so haven't happened and I'm getting annoyed. Don't read too much into that, it just means I'm irregular not...anything else.

I think it's making me a little nutty too. But what do I expect? My body hasn't done this on its own in 14 years, it's a little premature to think that after 1 month it's gonna be regular. But still, I worry and I get frustrated. It'd be really nice to know when other certain things do happen so that one certain thing can happen. Know what I mean? ;)

In other news...the job is, well still going. I guess I'm actually doing a little better at it than I had previously thought. That's good. Still doesn't make me actually enjoy being there every day...so early...every day. But hey, I'm making money, and that makes DH happy. And that's why I do it.

Once a night owl, always a night owl

Since getting this job where I have to be there at 7am, my sleep schedule has changed a bit. I force myself to go to bed between 9:30 and 10 so I can get in 7-8 hours of sleep. But somedays that just doesn't work. Yeah I'm tired and all, but here it is, Tuesday night at 10:15pm and I'm back to my old habits, playing on this computer, not wanting to go to bed yet.

I think it's just how my internal clock was set up. Since I was a little kid I can remember sleeping in late (we're talking noon here people) on weekends, during summer when school was out. And then finding a job where I didn't have to be there till 11? That was the jackpot for me. So here I am after 10 years of working that schedule, and now have to do a 180 and be up at literally the crack of dawn. I've been there for 2 months and I'm not sure I'll ever get used to it. I mean, I do my best sleeping and dreaming during the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes I think graveyard would be the best shift for me. That way, I sleep when DH is at work, I get up when he gets home, we have the whole afternoon and early evening together, then I go to work when he goes to bed. Genius. Then the whole snoring issue wouldn't necessarily be as big of an issue as it is. Now....where is this job??

Things I Love...

This was inspired by my cousin....

~ I love macaroni and cheese

~ Chatting on message boards

~ Trying on new shoes :)

~ Singing karaoke with my bestest buddies

~ Singing karaoke with my awesome uncle :)

~ Watching TV shows that make me laugh or cry

~ Jammin out to CDs while I clean house

~ Rubbing on things that are really super-soft, like my dog's ears

~ Shoulder rubs

~ Taking pictures of pretty things

~ Playing with my nephew

~ Planning my future with my husband

The birds and the bees

I have been off the pill now for two whole weeks. First time in 14 years. Yes, that's right, in my adult life I have not known what it's like to be off the pill. Without going into too much detail, let's just say I feel different. Good different. Like a woman closing in on 30 years old should feel. It's been eye opening to say the least. My husband's a little intrigued too.

I had to explain to him that there are really only a few days a month a woman can get pregnant. He didn't know that. I'm guessing that very early on someone told him that it only takes one time and it could happen anytime, like most pre-pubescent boys are told.

I think it's kinda funny how blissfully ignorant he is about the whole situation, because I am thinking about it in a very logical, calculated mindset. I'm very interested to see how long my cycles are on their own, and to find out when I ovulate, assuming that I do on my own. All in all, I just hope that everything works itself out like it's supposed to. In reality, I know that being on birth control pills for the last 14 years of my life (half my life people!) may hinder my attempt at conceiving someday. I already started taking pre-natals, no harm in that even if I don't get pregnant soon. I saw my ob/gyn and chatted with him about 'pre-conceptional planning' as the brochure calls it. He gave me the figurative 'slap in the face' I think I've been needing the past few years to get into shape. He said it's a good idea to get down to a proportional weight before getting pregnant. Thank God someone finally said something. Kinda made me feel like my doctors didn't care if I was getting fat. But someone does.

Other news...my job, well it's a job. Makes some money. That's about all I can say about that. Ho hum.

Well, here's hoping for sticky baby dust in the future. ;)

Thinkin about Mothers

As I reflect on this past Mother's Day, I realize just how lucky I am. I spent the day with my mom, her 2 sisters (who have been like mothers to me), my uncle, my dad and my grandpa. Oh, and we put flowers on grandma's grave. She was everybody's mother. The mother of all mothers, I guess you could say. But seriously, how many people get to say they spend all holidays, even the smaller ones (but just as important), with their extended families? I have grown up quite close to my mom's 8 siblings and their families, for the most part. I feel eternally blessed to have been my cousins' first babysitter, to have an aunt and an uncle so close to me in age (13 years and 10 years, respectively). I don't know where I'd be in life without any of these people. Unfortunately, for the past 9 years I've known what it's like to live without my grandma. Some days it feels like she was just here. It makes my heart hurt knowing she isn't here to see my nephew grow up, or to see me get married. She would have loved my DH. He would have loved her as well. Everyone did.

Anyway, I guess I'm a little emotional today. In 2 days I will take my last birth control pill. My little biological clock has been ticking quite loudly and it's time to quiet it. It makes me think maybe next Mother's day I could be a mom too. I know it might take awhile, I'm not disillusioned. But God may have a plan and plant a seed right off the bat. Who knows?

Those are my ramblings for today. Geez, if I'm this emotional now, can you imagine what I'll be like as a pregnant lady? Watch out!