For the time being, I've decided to be a temp nanny/caregiver/sitter through an agency where they give me different places to go, day to day. Kinda like being a floater in a daycare. I think for right now it is the way to go. That way I can work when I want, I get paid the same day I work, and I have time to finally get going on that schoolwork I've put off for too long. But even though I've come to this conclusion, there's still something that's not right. My husband and I have been fighting constantly, last night being a pretty big blow out. The really sad part is I don't know how to fix what's wrong with us. I'm not even sure I know what's wrong with us. And because of all this stress with the job and within our marriage I have become deeply depressed. What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy? And most of all, why can't I convey any of this to my husband without fighting with him about it??
The sad reality, to me, is I miss my job. Not certain people, not the hours, but inevitably I miss it. But I cannot go back, not unless things change. I think I really need to talk to someone about this.
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