wanna be old-fashioned (feb 5, 07)

Sooooo I went to this get-together yesterday where I saw a bunch of friends I hadn't seen in, well, quite awhile. I've known them all since high school (some longer). At first I was really nervous about going because I knew many of them were engaged, or married already, and I didn't know what I was going to say about my current situation. So I ask Jason 'what do I tell them?'. And he says 'well tell them it'll probably be this year'. Oh my god!! We talk about wedding plans allllll the time. We talk about where we wanna have it, who will be in it, what kind of reception.....and yet, he still has not formally asked me if I will marry him. Call me old fashioned if you will, but I really want to be asked this question. I need for him to ask me. I'm not going to plan a wedding based on the assumption that we will get married. I need to know absolutely positively for sure that we are. So anyway, this little 'dance' we're doing around the proposal is really starting to eat at me. Everywhere I look there is something on tv about weddings, in magazines, AT WORK! I can't get away from it no matter how hard I try. But, I don't let it consume me. I don't let it bother me, at least not in front of other people, especially those people that actually are getting married this year. I'm not throwing a pity party so everyone will say how sorry they are that I haven't gotten my proposal yet. I'm not gonna rain on everyone else's parade. BUT, I figured if I was gonna vent and let loose a little....this is as good a place as any. :)