Wedding stuff

I ordered our wedding rings on Saturday and they should be here by Friday! Yay!! How exciting! I cannot wait to try on the ring I will be wearing for the rest of my life.....until our 5 year anniversary, of course, when I decide to add some diamonds and a sapphire to it! LOL Come on, I gotta have a little bling. And in the meantime, my engagement ring will either be worn on the right hand or I'll just tuck it away somewhwere and save it for my own child someday to be worn (or given) as their e-ring.

I found one of the best things I can pay for via internet.....license plate renewal! Such a huge relief to avoid those long lines at the Driver's License Bureau! The internet is a beautiful thing.

Got the invitations out, I shall now become a mailbox stalker, waiting for RSVP's! And I mean it....anyone who got an invite better send me back a RSVP or I'm gonna come kick some ass! Seriously, I am really excited to find out who will be able to come to our party, er wedding and reception. :) I really want to spend that day with the people I love and I'm excited for it to be here already.

So FI has really been helpful around the house lately. Last Thursday he got to go to the Chiefs preseason game, but before he did he called me at work. He said the dishes in the dishwasher were clean, he gave the dog a bath and he left me money on my nightstand. Today he even went grocery shopping! Excuse me while my jaw drops to the floor! I loved him when he sat around and waited for me to tell him what to do, but wow...I love him even more now. Didn't think I could, but I do. :) It makes me realize over and over how lucky I am to find him and to make him mine forever. I am truly blessed.

it's getting closer...

The wedding, I mean. This Sunday we're putting together the invitations and sending them out Monday. Wow, it's really gonna happen. We are 7 weeks out now. Wow. My mind races all day long with things I still need to do and pay for. Today Jason gave me some money so now I can order our wedding rings! YAY! This weekend I'm going to see a florist about my bouquet, and hopefully going to put deposits down on our rentals. Also need to start looking for the ringbearer's outfit and some new boots for Jason. See, it keeps running like this all flippin day long! It's a wonder I get any sleep at all.

So I wrote about my little accident last Friday. Well, I saw a doctor cause by Monday I was just writhing in pain, especially after the, ahem, eventful weekend I had. Road trip to Oklahoma with 4 other women in one truck = drama, exhaustion, and tears (okay we were laughing). I digress...I went to the doctor. Nothing's broken. Deep muscle bruising. My bruisings still ache. But he did give me happy pills. :) Unfortunately they're messing with my sleep. I woke up at 3 this morning and sat right up thinking it was time to go to work. Why can't I catch a break?! I just want to sleeeeeeep. On second thought, think I'll try to do that......

I hate the heat!

There is one tried and true reason that I do not like living in the midwest....the weather can be terribly unpredictable!! These last few weeks have been unbearably HOT! And it's only supposed to get hotter. How am I gonna last? Ya know how they say that girls don't sweat? Uh well, I SWEAT!! I actually think there might be a medical issue behind it. I get hot very easily and I just don't tolerate it well at all. Tonight we went to our local theater in the park. It starts at 830pm, but at that time tonight it was still 90+ degrees!! And to top that off, I had to sit on the ground, which sucked because last night I pulled a muscle in my back so not only was I drenched in sweat I was also in pain. Yuck. So near the end of the musical (they did Beauty and the Beast!) I get up to use the bathroom cause I drank a bottle of water and a huge iced tea just to cool myself down. I'm running back to my seat when the lights went low and I tripped over a bunch of power cords and went shoulder first into the paved sidewalk! OUCH!!! I quickly got on my feet and just went back to the blanket I was sitting on but inside I was crying cause it stung and I was so completely embarrassed! I am not typically a clumsy person but tonight I was. My hands are scraped, my shoulder is scraped and so is my hip. And my back kills right now! I'm gonna go take some kind of pain reliever and catch some zzzz's.

i heart my fiance

Three years ago when we first met, Jason said to me that he did not want children for fear they would be exactly like him. He was a little hellion as a child, but I, on the other hand, was a very well behaved little girl. The thing is, he is awesome with kids. :) Whenever he's around my nephew he plays with him, holds him, laughs with him. It's the most beautiful thing to see a man's heart at the sight of a child. And I can't wait for that to happen to us someday, for him to melt at the sight of his own child. But the reason I'm writing this is to convey how much I love him. One of the many reasons he would be a good dad is because he is a good provider. It killed him to be off the job for 2 weeks when he cut his finger. He wanted to be at work. Now that he's back, yes he gets terribly frustrated at times, but deep down he's a happier person because he can be the provider again. He brings home twice as much as I do and takes great pride in his work. And I love him for it. I couldn't have found a better match for myself if I had scoured the planet looking for him. How did I get so lucky? :)

Irritated by laziness

Just realized maybe it'd be easier to read if I were to use caps where I should....anyway....I don't understand sometimes why people get jobs if they're not going to actually DO them. I work at a daycare, and maybe some of you don't realize how hard my job can be so let me tell you. I work in an infant room, with babies ranging in age from 6 weeks (yes, weeks) old to around a year old. My day is literally nonstop from the moment I walk in the door. First I cut teacher breaks in a toddler room. I get there at eleven, just in time to feed the little munchkins lunch, then they go down for a nap. When I go over to the baby room at one, I am instantly checking our dry erase board to see if anyone needs anything like a feeding, diaper change, nap, anything. I am up and down making bottles, feeding jar food, changing diapers, cleaning up after babies all day long. And then when they leave I have to clean my room. I leave at seven and am totally exhausted when I get home. So anyway, the girls I work with in my room have worked in there for quite some time. They know what their job description is. They even know that I get pissed when they don't do their job. Okay, no I'm not their boss. But I do have to clean up their messes after they leave, I have to explain to parents why my coworkers did what they did when it goes against their child's schedule. All I ask for is that they pull their weight. Why is that so difficult?? I know we don't make much money. That's a given. Daycare teachers don't make a lot, but they do a lot. We are with these children more hours in a week than their own parents are, considering most of the time they're with them their kids are asleep. But come on!! Just do your freakin job for cryin out loud!! Grrrrr.....

what next?

our usual sleeping arrangement is this---FI falls asleep pretty fast and early (around 9pm) and i usually fall asleep on the couch around 1 or2 and get up and go to bed when he leaves for work around 530am. well, it's not working. i really don't like the fact that i can't sleep (and i do mean just sleep) with my fiance. there are two reasons for this. one, he snores like a freight train. like the loudest freight train you have ever heard. two, i am a chronic insomniac and have a lot of trouble falling asleep on my own, even without listening to him snore. for some reason my internal clock just isn't set right. i don't feel sleepy when i should, at night. i feel sleepy at 4 or 5 in the morning and want to sleep till noon, but unfortunately i don't have a job where i can work at night. i've had these issues since i was a teenager, so more than 10 years. i've tried many sleep aids, over the counter and prescription. currently i am taking lunesta, which presents me with my latest problem. the last 2 times i've taken it it hasn't worked like it should. over the past year of taking this pill i have learned that, for it to work best, you should take it on an emtpy stomach because fatty foods slow down the process of digesting the pill in your system. and you should take it about 30-45 minutes before you go to bed. it does make you drowsy, in my case i feel kinda drunk (in a good way). but, you don't feel the hangover-type grogginess the next day. so anyway the last 2 times it hasn't worked, meaning i haven't felt sleepy even after taking it. this worries me greatly. i've tried other sleeping pills. i've tried mild forms of anti-anxiety pills for insomnia. if lunesta isn't working....then what do i do now?? if i can't get my sleep issues worked out now, then how am i ever going to sleep after i have a baby someday? that is the number one thing people complain about after having a baby....sleep deprivation. well, geez, i'm already there. this sucks. i need help!

been down n out

lately i've been feeling a lot of ups and downs as far as emotions go. one minute i'll be sittin there enjoying watchin tv with jason, the next minute i don't want to even be around him and i'm not satisfied doing anything i normally like doing. seems like every few years i go through this....depression. how do you explain to someone who's never felt like this that sometimes i feel sad for no reason? that sometimes i feel like crying just because. that even though it seems like all the pieces of my life are falling into place, i can't shake this feeling that it's not good enough. i totally sound pathetic. thing is, i don't know how to fix this. i can figure out how to fix my money problems, or how to take care of myself when i'm sick or how to fix my truck when it's broke down. but i can't fix this. i should be so happy right now, planning my wedding to the man i love. for whatever reason, i'm not.