Thinkin about Mothers

As I reflect on this past Mother's Day, I realize just how lucky I am. I spent the day with my mom, her 2 sisters (who have been like mothers to me), my uncle, my dad and my grandpa. Oh, and we put flowers on grandma's grave. She was everybody's mother. The mother of all mothers, I guess you could say. But seriously, how many people get to say they spend all holidays, even the smaller ones (but just as important), with their extended families? I have grown up quite close to my mom's 8 siblings and their families, for the most part. I feel eternally blessed to have been my cousins' first babysitter, to have an aunt and an uncle so close to me in age (13 years and 10 years, respectively). I don't know where I'd be in life without any of these people. Unfortunately, for the past 9 years I've known what it's like to live without my grandma. Some days it feels like she was just here. It makes my heart hurt knowing she isn't here to see my nephew grow up, or to see me get married. She would have loved my DH. He would have loved her as well. Everyone did.

Anyway, I guess I'm a little emotional today. In 2 days I will take my last birth control pill. My little biological clock has been ticking quite loudly and it's time to quiet it. It makes me think maybe next Mother's day I could be a mom too. I know it might take awhile, I'm not disillusioned. But God may have a plan and plant a seed right off the bat. Who knows?

Those are my ramblings for today. Geez, if I'm this emotional now, can you imagine what I'll be like as a pregnant lady? Watch out!

What I learned at the batting cage

For the past 3 days after work I've been hitting the batting cage. I take my little aluminum bat (yes it's a youth size, shut up), my batting gloves (again, youth size, I got small hands), and a couple of bucks and I got cheap entertainment. For a dollar I can hit 20 balls, totally worth it in my mind. I get to hit some balls, get out a little frustration and aggression in the process. And when I get home I'm a ray of sunshine. LOL Okay, well I'm a little more relaxed anyway.

I was talking to DH today about how much fun I have at the batting cage and realized a few things...
1) I miss playing softball. I started playing t-ball when I was 5 years old, then moved on to rotational softball, then slow pitch, and a few years after I played on a coed church league. LOADS of fun. Wish I could find a league now.

B) I tried batting lefty (I'm right-handed) and I have absolutely no hand-eye coordination when it comes to that side! Kinda funny actually.

3) I tend to hit to left field a lot. Must be swinging a little early.

D) Sadly, I can't wear my wedding ring while I hit. :( The vibrations from the bat when it connects with the ball just bounce off my ring so much it hurts. Bummer.

E) Softball makes me think of summers as a kid and that makes me happy. Looking back, I had a great childhood. My parents didn't have a lot of money but my sister and I got to participate in team sports, had season passports to Worlds of Fun for many years, spent lots and lots of time just BEING KIDS. And I truly appreciate everything they've done for us. :)

On a side note, my parents celebrate their anniversary tomorrow. They have been married for 32 years! Such an accomplishment in this day and age where the divorce rate is something like 50% or better. So proud to be part of a healthy family unit!

Music association

A post from a message board inspired this post. For me, there are literally hundreds of songs or music in general that take me back to certain times in my life, or special moments, or just remind me of good movies.

I have many many many attachments to music and songs, but here are just a few....

Whenever I hear "My Best Friend" by Tim McGraw I am reminded of an old boyfriend who totally broke my heart. And it makes me mad that this song is ruined for me, because I think of my husband as My Best Friend. :(

Whenever I hear "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper I am reminded of the little house in Crestview and it takes me back to my very early childhood.

Whenever I hear "Lost in This Moment" by Big & Rich I am reminded of my first dance with my husband at our wedding. :)

Whenever I hear ANY song from one of my favorite movie's soundtracks I immediately know which movie it was and wanna go put it on my dvd player and watch it right then.

Whenever I hear "World's Greatest" by R Kelly I am reminded of my dear friend Troy who sings this song so beautifully I request it every time we go out to sing karaoke. :)

Whenever I hear Dvorak's New World Symphony or Bach's Brandenburg Concertos or Handel's Messiah I am reminded of Symphonic Orchestra in high school. Many good times were had there (in orchestra) and I made many good friendships, some that have lasted the test of the last decade.

And the really sad one is this....

Whenever I hear "Angel" by Sarah MacLachlan I am reminded of the most horrible week of my life when my paternal grandfather died of a heart attack and two days later my maternal grandmother died of cancer. I spent literally hours and hours and hours listening to this song over and over again and just sobbing and sobbing. It was like therapy for me when no one else in the world seemed to know how I was feeling at that time.

And so maybe now you can see why music is so important to me, to my life.

Things that get on my nerves

~~My husband's snoring

~~That damn Kia commercial where they forget which side of the car the gas tank is on...grrrr....

~~Professional athletes who don't think they make enough money....why can't they play for the love of the game???

~~City officials who think they deserve a raise while others deserve to be laid off....hm....assholes....

~~People who can't drive

~~People asking if I'm excited about my new job...shut up already....

~~People asking when I'll have a baby....when I'm damn good and ready, that's when so back off!!!

~~My own insecurities

*sigh* Just had to get a few things off my chest. Hope someone reads this.

I got a job

So yeah, I got a new job doing data entry for a big health insurance company. I start the 21st and I'm very anxious about the whole thing. It's something I've never done before, but they do provide training and I think I'll do fine. I guess another thing that has me curious is how fast they offered me a job from looking at my resume and talking in the interview. No request for references, no formal paper application, but I did have to take a pee test and get finger-printed. Hm. Okay then. Anyway, I'll have nearly the same hours as DH, lesser pay than my last job, but a much better drive, missing rush hour traffic. So the pros are outweighing the cons so far. Guess we'll see what happens when I start.

In other news, I will be going off the pill at the end of May. Not exactly trying to conceive, but not trying to avoid it either. DH said to me "guess it's up to God now", which really surprised me cause it means he and I are on the same page. :) This is very exciting for me, because I know he will be an awesome dad. Can't wait to see what happens!!

Gone fishin

Anyone who knows my DH knows he is a very avid fisherman. So when the time finally came that he got to go fishing for the first time this year (all his ponds had been frozen til recently) he was more than excited. You could see in his eyes that he was just itching to go up to his dad's, do some fishing and show off and shoot his new gun. We get up there and he shows his dad the gun, they both fire it off a few times (out in the country, nobody around). Then me, DH, his dad and stepmom all load up on the 4-wheelers and go across the highway to this pond that only his dad (and whoever's with him) has access to. It was kinda gray and windy that day, but not terribly cold. Good cold water fishing. Well his stepmom starts off by catching a couple of crappie, then I catch a bluegill and a crappie. His dad caught a small bass and a couple of crappie. All this time DH has not caught a single fish yet. I am just shaking my head in disbelief because DH is really a very good fisherman, and I am skunking him! So his dad and stepmom decide it's getting a little chilly for them and head back to their house, while DH and I stay a little longer. I caught 3 more crappie and a bass, while DH only caught 4 small crappie the whole time. Couldn't believe it. At least he was a good sport about it. :)

We had such a great day. Both of us had some major cabin fever and needed to get out of the city in a bad way. Going fishing is like therapy for us, it's so quiet up there, we don't have to deal with stupid people, and we really get to have quality time with each other. It was so nice to get away, even just for the day. :)

Birthdays, birthdays, birthdays

First off, I received all my wedding albums and they turned out great! The parent albums were a little smaller than I expected, but the quality in all of them is really wonderful. I am very pleased. :)

Next, March is full of birthdays of people I know, mostly relatives. So here's the family list....March 7th-my cousin Cindy, March 9th-my grandpa, March 10th-my dad, March 12th-my cousin Autumn, March 13th-my cousin August, March 15th-ex roommate Stacey, March 31st-my good friend Jenifer, March 31st-my dog Charlie. :) March 6th we celebrated 5 months of being married, so that's always good too. Sadly, March 9th, the 11th and 23rd are anniversaries or deaths in the family that have affected me greatly. Those days will stand out in my memory for as long as I live.

So tomorrow (the 9th) we are celebrating my dad's birthday by going bowling and then grilling steaks. My DH is a butcher so he has been stocking up on angus beef steaks and he will be the one doing the grilling as well. The bowling part is all about my dad--he has something like a 220 average! He's been in some sort of bowling league since before I can remember, he really enjoys it.

In other news, I am still looking for a different job. It's hard for employers to see the potential in someone whose resume has ten years worth of childcare on it and very little office-type experience. It's very slow going, but I really want to do it, as I'm very burnt out with childcare. *sigh*

Also, just thought I'd throw this out there in case anyone really is reading....in May I will officially be going off the pill after 14 years of taking it. Just to see what happens. ;)